death

I’ve been searching
searching for you
I’ve been waiting
waiting for you
Where are you
when will you come
Take me away
away with you

bare your soul naked

Your life is itself a despairing expression of despair;
You seem to create misery for and out of your self.
Why not look in the sky and breath the fragrant airs?
Maybe form wretchedness you could save your self.

From too much world and self-criticism, beware.
Why not sing and dance with the world instead?
Many people are offering you their love and care,
Open your arms, appreciate their presence

The world may have been unfair
In your heart and mind you have implanted hatred
But bare your soul naked, I dare
Maybe that way you’ll be liberated.

wish

Like the hot summer,
Your love didn’t last forever.
People change like the weather;
Sometimes warm, sometimes cold, whatever…


I will be with you again, never
Because you’ve found a new lover.
Although my days shall be as cold as winter,
I wish the best for both of you, however.
May you be happy with her….

don't...

Who are you to tell me,
"Wake up to reality”
You speak as if
I’m living in fantasy.

Don’t talk to me about love
I have not felt it.
Don’t talk to me about hope
I can’t see it.
Don’t’ talk to me about heaven
I cannot fathom it.
Don’t talk to me about forgiveness
I cannot forget.
Don’t talk to me about repentance
There’s no room for regrets.
Don’t talk to me about your God
IT is an illusion.
Don’t talk to me of life after death
I have never lived at all.

Don’t talk. Don’t speak.
Leave….

silence

Here I am again
Alone with you
With you in the dark.
Embrace me
Protect me
From the cold hearts.
Take me away
From the cruel world
Of reality.

let it be

Nothing is permanent, can’t you see?
We are always in constant journey
You cannot always walk with me
Either I will leave you or you leave me
Let nature take its course; let it be!

subliminal desire

Just seeing your angelic face
I feel as if I’m in sweet embrace
Your smile is like the sun’s rays
The world stops revolving
I’m no longer in haste.

I long to touch your face
To kiss your lips
To feel the warmth of your body
To hold you in my arms.

But what can I do,
how can you be mine?
I don’t have the courage to speak;
I’m lost in line.
You’re not just beauty,
you are divine
Whereas I’m as ugly as Frankenstein.

And so everyday I come here and visit
In this corner of the library,
for hours I sit
Imagining you and I together in bliss
I think I am going insane…shit!

Your hair is like a smooth flowing river
The movement of your body,
I can vividly remember
Like a goddess from above,
full of mystery and wonder
You always struck my heart in sweet surrender
Oh, I feel like I’m lost in heaven forever.

But I shall just content myself in fantasy
We will never be together in reality
I cannot be myself, or else I am going crazy
In the recesses of the abyss I shall just bury
The darkness of my true identity.

my people

What do you want me to do
For you my young people, my countrymen?
I have loved you but
My love for you is an excruciating
Flame to me and worthless to you,
And now I abhor you, and abhorrent
Is a fire that burns your arrogant
Soul.

I have showed you compassion and
Kindness but it has only increased
Your stupidity, exalting and nourishing idleness,
Sluggishness, which is futile to life.
And now I see your senile
Feebleness which my soul despises.

“Hypocrisy is your religion, and
Falsehood is your life, and
Nothingness is your ending; why
Then are you living? Is not
Death the sole comfort of the
Miserable?”

You turned your back from the light
And seek out darkness. You
Are muddy stagnant rivers, swarming
With verminous insects and vipers.
Your rubbish souls smell like a
Dung which the winds scatter,
Poisoning every weak being like you.

I despise you because you
Despise glory and greatness. I tried
To pull you up but you’ve been
Pulling me down. I hate you
Because you loathe yourselves. I
Shall be your adversary, for
You fail to acknowledge your
Inferior presumptuous way of living.
Your hearts are withering from thirst yet
You continue pretending to be strong.

My hope for humanity made me
Come down to your place to
Show you the light. Yet you have
Long been blinded by your ignorance.

Once more, I’ve seen, and you
Have proven the weakness of the crowd,
Of the herd. I shall go back
Now to heavens and bring you
Down thunders and lightning, for
You deserve to be conquered, to be
Destroyed!

the SEARCH

Long has she been surrounded by the loneliness and gnawing cold of the universe. She has always been silent, strange, and wondering among other worlds like a separate firefly surrounded by too many mysteries and secretly roaming in darkness.

For a while she thought she is free; free from the prison that was consuming every dab of her sanity. They say she’s like an animal, a spirit, a statue, a picture; all together mixed up in a box of confusion and uncertainty.

She longed for a far away very holy but unreal world of its own. She had to escape and flee to the world where things were no doubt precious and beautiful and live life immaculate of complexity and confusion.

Yet there seemed to be a bond between her and misery. A bond she had to trace; reality she has to face.

The world breaking apart around; flowers lacked fragrance, rivers ceased to flow, birds stopped chirping, nature held no attraction. Music became a grating noise, books were nothing but papers, poetry were so much words without meaning. Dreams fell apart.

She has drained every dab of her being that she may be able to rapture her soul from the abyss of tormenting darkness. Yet life is retrieving inward. She longed for euphoric bliss of freedom but she has long since become used to slavery and loneliness that she often secretly succumbed to consuming fits of melancholy and despair. It is not her lot to lay down in a bed of roses and breath fullness and comfort; she prod herself living in a scourge recklessness.

Her misery is joy hence miserable of her joy. Her solace is suffering thus she suffers in her solace. Her heaven is hell. What is the difference between the two anyway? Her death is her life, for everytime she dies she kept on resurrecting and has to be miserable again, has to suffer again and perhaps suffer even more in this aesthetic wretched world. For whatever she does, or wherever she turns to, she could not hide nor deny who she really is.

…she is me.

But then…

…who am I?

Love (2)

**Note: The following poems on "Love (2)"are works of some of my students under the course title, Philosophy of Man, during the first semester of school year 2005-2006, 6-7pm of Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Before we started discussing the topic on the Phenomenology of Love, I asked them to write a poem about love of any kind.

A Prayer For My Husband
By Graill Pearl P. Dupali
**********************
Almighty Father, full of grace
Bless my husband’s handsome face
Bless oh Lord, his hair that curls
And keep him safe from other girls.

Bless his hands that are strong
Keep tem stay where they belong
Bless his lips I want to kiss
Bless his body I always miss.

Bless of Lord his love for me
That it may stay strong for all eternity
And bless also this heart of mine
That it may be faithful to him for all the time.

And finally Lord, I ask thee
To keep him safe and always healthy
Because I know that his number one priority
Is to provide well for me and for our baby.

And thank you Lord for giving me
This man I care for and love so dearly
And thanks also for our cute pretty baby
Coz now we’re one content, happy family…
Amen.

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Love is a Mystery
By Andrew G. Apolonio
*********************
Look into it closely
And closely do you see?
A broken heart or scourging soul
Or falling tears maybe.

Listen to it closely
And closely do you hear?
A crying heart or shouting soul
A drop of falling tear.

And feel it too closely
And closely do you feel?
A heavy heart or burdened soul
The warmth of falling tears.

Now this is love I tell you
I tell you this is real
Now listen to it closely,
Look into it and feel.

Can you see the passion?
Can you hear it same?
But what is worst in this love
Is can you feel the pain?

Love is the greatest mystery
It can crush your heart and soul
But one thing great in love is
It can break you or make you whole.

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If Love Is…
By Angeline A. Payangdo
*********************
If love makes the world go round,
Then why do we still feel miserable?
If love rules without sword,
Then why do we need to kill in its name?
If love binds without cord,
Why do we still perform this elegant sacrament?

If love is a disease,
Why do some are not willing to be cured?
If love is the answer,
Then why do we still question it?
If love is the guiding light,
Why do we still find life absurd?

If love works beyond the reach of society,
Then why do we still need to study it?
If love conquers,
Why do some are willing to be slaves?
If love directs,
Why do some still follow the winding path?

Love may not always denote laughter and eternal happiness.
Love is rubbish, according to some,
Unintellectual, for the rationalists,
Everything that matters for the romantics.
Love requires more decision-making for Christians
Rather than our ideal concept of it.
A love that is too good to be true, a love that is idyllic.
Love is not always just, it may be one-sided.
Love may be immoral,
But it’s what sustains us in our journeys
It doesn’t always go with the dictates of society.
But it does need conformation.

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New Born Me
By Venus Lomahan
****************
Today I’m free
Of every barrier and every age
I wrote the book
Revised each page
The book of my life
And how it passed away
And how my happiness
Had so much delay
Today I’m proud
I have no regrets
I have no doubt
Of winning my bets

With all the achievements
And all the pain
I’m free to live
To love again
To leave the cage
And never return

Feeling the happiness
Feeling the pride
I don’t want to run
I don’t need to hide
I don’t have to get
Through another fight
I’ll stick to my love
And hold it so tight
Before I was wrong
But now I’m so right

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Love
By Florienor L. Nugao
******************
A love I cannot share
A love I cannot express
A love I cannot use
A love I cannot hold…

I’m floating away,
Like an empty bottle in tide.
I filled again,
With the tears I’ve cried.

I sink to the bottom,
Like an anchor from a ship.
I’m lifted to the top,
And I’m touched on my lips.

I’m now on board,
The captain of the ship.
You grab my hands,
And touched my fingertips…

Love is like magic, and it will always be,
For love still remains life’s sweet mystery.
Love works in ways that are wondrous and strange,
There’ nothing in life that Love cannot change.
Love can transform the most common place
Into beauty, wonder, splendor and grace.
Love is unselfish, understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart and not with its mind.
Love gives and forgives, there’s nothing too much
For Love to heal with its magical touch.
Love is a language that every heart speaks,
For love is a language that every heart seeks…

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Love
By Angeika Q. Begosa
******************
Deep
Sincere
Silent
Never jealous
Never dying
Never selfish
Never afraid

Without a word he came
Without a smile I fell
Without a glance he lingers
Without his presence, darkness

He’s a face of thousand promises
He’s a cloud of pouring tears
He’s a disguise of madness
He’s a life giving breath

A veil comfort, an embrace of warmth
A care of tenderness, gentleness and charm
Pleasure a passion, brightness and blindness
Beauty and sorrow, ugliness and bliss

He’s that villain that revives the victim
He’s a slave that enslaves a king
He’s the pain that cures the sick
He’s the sturdy tree that fall to his knees

Without heat he melts a stone
Without sword he kills a soul
Without touch he feels
Without sound he hears

Never afraid
Never selfish
Never dying
Never jealous
Silent
Sincere
Deep

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A Soul Saved, A Heart Broke
By Andrew G. Apolonio
********************
This Romeo was bleeding
His soul’s bright fire dimmed
In a life of sorrows, it was sink or swim

On the shore, he saw her
Juliet maiden of the night
Against all odds he reached out
And turned from garish light

Then he pulled her from the tide
Saved the dying maid
He, afraid to love her
Yet by her side he stayed

With blind faith he followed
Into her shadow he fell
Seduced by black and velvet
Drunk of passion’s spell

A day spent in long bliss
A moment meant so much
And no more was this Romeo
Starved from love’s sweet touch

Then the darkness overcame
In silence, she left him there
Never saw his tears fall
Or heard his heartstrings tear

Left alone in pain
Once again, he did bleed
Shackled by other’s power
Longing to be freed

Again ripped apart by time
And distance seals the fate
Now all this Romeo feels
Is pain, despair, and hate

He cries without a tear shed
He lives without a soul
He curses the one she loves now
For everything she stole

“I Love You” he did long to hear,
But these words she never said
And now this Romeo lays weeping
And wishes he were dead.

Love (1)

**Note: The following poems on "Love (1)" are works of some of my students under the course title, Philosophy of Man, during the first semester of school year 2005-2006, 5-6pm of Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Before we started discussing the topic on the Phenomenology of Love, I asked them to write a poem about love of any kind.

The Gift You’d Always Wish
by Glena Marie M. Para
***********************
When love opens your eyes
You’d be blessed with a very good sight
You’d see things beyond its height
Reality will be perceived in great delight

When love makes you listen
Even single beat will not be omitted
Even noise would be appreciated
For it’s still a sound symbolically created

When love touches you
You’d be transformed to someone better
Making you forget things that are sour
It has magical spell anyone may wonder

When love makes you speak
You’d have a tongue that would make others sick
For your words are wise, only few could pick
Because love cannot be known that quick

When love decided to leave you
A useless or even lifeless creature you would be
Not able to see, listen, touch speak
Just the very way love once let you be.

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God’s Love
By Maria Faye T. Estacio
***********************
God’s love is like an island
In life’s ocean vast and wide
A peaceful, quiet shelter
From the restless rising tide.

God’s love is like an anchor
When the angry billows roll
A mooring in the storms of life
A stronghold for the soul.

God’s love is like a boat
Travels you away from tempting thought
Carries you when you are down
Shelters you with care and sweet sound.

God’s love is like a harbor
Where our souls can find sweet rest
From the struggles and the tensions
Of life’s fast and futile quest.

That is why we’re so grateful
For we are sheltered by God’s love and grace
In every breath that we take
And in different paths we take.
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Til’ Death
Jonathan Sherwin P. Aspiras
************************
I woke up one morning
With dirt in my eyes
I feel the sun burning
As painful as the lies

Yesterday was still clear
And my wounds still bleed
The agony and the fear
As you watch me kneel and plead

My tears turn to blood
As you push me away
My sadness turns to flood
As I loose my way

The darkness and light embrace
The angels and demons fight
As you can see the pain on my face
And try to see what’s right

For my promise I still keep
As this unity falls
My love for you is still deep
And til’ death I will call.

gone

Morning has broken
but the sunshine is frozen
All that I can see
is cold reality
Everything around is void
Where is your song, your voice?
I’ve been searching for your laughter
in my darkest hour
Where are you? Where am I?
Why did you say goodbye?
There is no more to cry
My tears has already ran dry
When will you be with me again?
When will my longings end?
There’s no one else now that I can depend
Alas! My life has come to an end.

YOU

You gave me every reason to rejoice and be happy
although this world is full of misery
You are the reason why I keep on living
although life is full of suffering

You are the power that gives me hope and look beyond the horizon
although wherever I turn to everything seems to be a dead zone
You are the strength that gives me the courage to say “Yes to life!”
yes to pain, suffering, misery and strife
You are the light shining brightly my path
and driving away the dark night’s wrath
You are the home that keeps me safe and warm
from storms and thundering I am protected in your arms
You are the song that mellifluously gives me peace
whenever nightmares attack me in my sleep

You are the heart that made me feel what is love
the eyes that showed me the beauty of the sky above
the smell of a fragrant flower that always make me proud
the spirit that encouraged me to dream and fly higher than any dove

You are the wings that enable me to fly
the truth who taught me to trust though this world is full of lies
the Divine that resurrects me again and again everytime I die
the universe that always put me in aesthetic high
You are the goddess mother of all mother
that always support and guide me yonder
Like a rainbow, or an angel, wonder of all wonder

To have you in my life, My Mother Dear
there is nothing in this world I cannot bear!
With you on my side I will always survive
for you are my love, my song, my soul, my life!
--------------

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom and to all the Mom's out there!

femme fatale

God is dead!
And I come to revenge its death!
Today there shall be bloodshed
I shall bring end to their breath!

Revenge is what I desire!
now my heart is on fire
Just to let them feel the pain they gave me
I’m going to bestow them misery!

The reason why I am femme fatale
I could destroy destructive mammal!
They don’t deserve to live, don’t you think?
Or is there a chance to be redeemed?

Now who is to cross my path?
I have a reputation for wrath
although I’m not an expert in math
I always think during my bath
to calculates the ways
how I can catch my preys
as I numbers their days
I long how to make them pay

The world is a mirror,
now your pain is reflected back to you!
Speak clearer if you can do,
cause and effect is tracking you

So head for the hills,
and try to hide if you care
But make no mistake,
this death moves through the air

you have crossed my path
now in the space of a birds breath
You have awoken the wrath
of the resurrected, Angel of Death!

freak out!

What am I without you?
It’s so simple, you know!
Without you I would still be me!
Or have you lost your mind already?

Once, you said you pity me
But it’s you I pity baby!
I can see the sadness in your eyes
The pain you can no longer hide

With you life is a roller coaster
Now you’re gone I’m happier!
You broke my heart, yes
But then I learned to be my best!

You think I will forever cry
the moment you decided to say goodbye?
On the contrary, life has just began
Now I am having more fun!

I have given you my life, my love
but you just threw it out
Yet you have just realized lately
You are nothing without me!

Now you are coming back
to turn my colorful sky into black?
But I’m no longer the foolish girl I used to be
I realized you are crap, you’re sorry!

You have been playing,
winning your foolish game
But now you lose,
who is to blame?

Without me you’re actually nothing, you see!
Better lose yourself by drowning into the sea!
Or just hung your self in Judas Iscariot’s tree!
Leave me, and just let me be!

illusion

Love??? No love...
it's just an illusion
it's not real...

Illusion??? Yes illusion...
it's what we need
to escape this fucking reality...

Escape??? Yes escape...
sanity brings vanity
lose you mind and you shall be happy...

Happiness??? Yes happiness...
pretend that love exist
live your illusion and happy you shall be...

(for my aunt)

I have an aunt
She’s so cute like an ant
Little but terrible too
She seldom get blue

Juliana is her name
Born on a July rain
She has a damn bright brain
But when she sings her voice seems to refrain

A while ago it was raining
But mystery of mystery it stopped dropping
Perhaps the rain heard her voice
Went back to heaven, changed its course

She is really beautiful
That many guys becomes full…or fool?
Whenever they take hold of her face
As if they are in sweet embrace

What is in her that is so amusing?
That every customer in her bar feels amazing
With eyes that are tantalizing
And the innocent smile of a virgin

She is understanding and kind
Like my beloved mother, one of a kind
It is difficult to find a person like her
Like an angel, wonder of wonder

A thoughtful mother
And caring sister
A loving daughter
And uh, well…an intelligent lover??

------------------------
Oh I wish I could write more beautiful poetry
so you could be more proud of me
I’m just not good with words
That is why my rhyming is worse.

I pretend to be a writer
but words always slip me hover
Anyways I’ll keep trying
Hopefully I’ll improve my rhyming

Pardon me “anty”
For being crazy
Today I just feel merry
Writing you poetry.

again

They say you hold your destiny in your palms
yet what have I become?
Yesterday is gone
And another day has come
still my soul is never calm

I shall wear my mask and face the world again
to smile and laugh with people; to pretend
to hide the wretched real me inside
hoping that soon my life comes to an end.

cigarettes

Cigarette
They say it is bad for your health
Those people who say so are shit
Actually it’s good!
It soothes my nervousness,
calms down my anger,
and softens my passionate hatred.
Cigarettes, the best
It raptures me in times of wretchedness.

FREED

They say she's different, very different
like Abraxas, she is human and beast
man and woman in one flesh
an image of an angel and Satan
the highest of good and the worst of evil
a comforting light and terrorizing darkness.

As she stand before the mirror
she saw herself without soul
they shattered it.
She tried to scream
but voice just couldn’t come out
they cut off her tongue.

She no longer see the spacious sky
They plucked her eyes.
She no longer heard the brook murmur
Her ears turned deaf to the noise of people’s cry.
She can hardly move
She’s imprisoned in bloody walls.
She can hardly breath
Her chosen path is suffocating.

Long has she died
but she continued living
wondering in the abysmal nothingness
flying everywhere but nowhere.

Finally she’s tired, finally exhausted
did she lived a meaningful life?
or everything was just wasted?
Her body and soul devastated
Because of the fate, of destiny
She, herself has created.

This moment must be her last goodbye
to pains, suffering and self-lie
In nothingness
she shall eternally fly

hopeless

I want to believe
that life has meaning
Or am I just deceiving my self?

When will I finally leave
this world that is so grueling
That I may finally rest?

The wound stays unrelieved
Humanity of human is vanishing
Everywhere is grotesque

The world picture is plaintive
People fighting, killing; it’s disheartening!
Is life just a riddle or a jest?

If only everybody is attentive
to other people’s feeling
Perhaps we could overcome this wretchedness

Some people say I am weird
Or maybe my sanity is fading;
dreaming of harmonious life and world with less distress

Perhaps I am crazy, lunatic
But who among us whose mind is not defective?
Peace and unity, I can no longer conceive

People are hopeless; this world is hopeless
After all,
I am just fooling my self, I guess.